tis the season

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Dear Me

Jessica -

Hey Girl! How are you? How are you really? I know you've had a rough week...

I came across some old photographs of you this week. You were so beautiful and looked so happy. I just had to laugh because it seems like worlds away from where we are today.

I remember those times. I know that you weren't truly happy. But you put on a good face. You were going through the motions and giving it a good try. It makes me sad to look at you back then and know that you could never see just how wonderful and valuable you were, and still are.

The main reason I'm writing this letter is because I owe you an apology. I haven't taken care of you in a long, long time. I have expected you to take blow after blow... take a licking and keep on ticking so to speak.

That isn't fair and it isn't right. You deserve to be loved and cared for. By not doing that, I've only validated what you've felt from so many other relationships - that you aren't good enough or valuable. And that just simply isn't true.

I haven't held on to you. I've used your mistakes against you over and over again. So many times you've wanted to run away - not walk away - but a sprinting run away from the struggle, but you haven't. Instead of recognizing your courage to break the pattern, I've criticized you for your thoughts of leaving in the first place. I have made this relationship of ours an unsafe place by using those thoughts and impulses against you and I'm so sorry for that.

Tomorrow is a new day. A time to start again and begin to fulfill my responsibilities to you. Tomorrow will be better than today. Putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. We'll get there together.

All My Love,

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