This post comes with an interesting story. It's a long one, so I'm going to do my best to give you the short version....
I have a beautiful daughter whose father is a lost soul. Mental illness, addiction, a painful past and a wounded spirit are among the struggles that plaque him. His family and I are attempting to come together for my daughter's sake and, as you might know, that is a sticky situation at best.
We sat down together and had a meeting that really didn't go the way I had hoped. A lot of anger. A lot of stones thrown. A lot of misunderstanding. A lot of hurt. That night I went home, prayed, wrote the following post and scheduled it to publish the next day.
When I got to work and read the (in)courage post by Deidra, I was floored. Her words and mine were eerily similar. And I knew that what I had written, what she had written, was a message that others needed to hear. I certainly needed it! Hope that it touches you too....
Today was messy. Messy. Messy. Messy. And speaking of messy, I am a mess in the aftermath - an ugly-cry, humidity-hair, walked-around-with-one-earring mess.
There are some situations in life that are hard to navigate. Let's just be honest, being hurt... well, it hurts. "Shake it off. Press on. Let it go." All the phrases we know so well play over in my mind and I have even said them out loud a few times to myself tonight. But, it isn't that easy, is it?
Having my pain dismissed and my mistakes replayed is an agonizing torture. Don't you know, I replay those mistakes and ugly moments in more vivid detail than your best attempt ever could. Nemo 3D can't compare to the vibrant colors of shame and regret in my memory.
I can relive my bad choices and be hurt behind my walls, thank you very much. I don't need you to do that. Curled up in my snuggie, alone with my pain, behind the walls with you at arms length away is where I am comfortable.
But, that's the challenge isn't it? To stay in the mess and not retreat. To feel the hurt so that you can leave it behind. Yes, the hard part is staying put. Remaining engaged. Continuing to offer your most genuine self. Forgiving you so that I can get on with living.
The truth is that people will hurt you. They will disappoint. Even at our best, we are fallible and flawed. And there aren't many hurts that can compare to the ones we women can inflict on one another. It's the mean girls dressed up in their Sunday best. It's a bite that stings like no other.
At the end of the day, we are just women trying to stay within the lines of life and sometimes we venture into one another's lanes causing bumps and fender benders. The greatest gift we can offer one another is to stay engaged and do the hard work of healing.