tis the season

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Holding On So You Can Let Go - "Unglued" Chapter 2

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

I've been clinging to that promise since I was 19 and pregnant. Scared, alone & ashamed, I left college to come home and have a baby. There goes my life, or so I thought. My grandmother (possibly the wisest woman I know) recited Romans 8:28 to me at least once a day, every day for 9 months.

And it turns out she was right. That was one of what would turn out to be many situations in which I have relied solely on that promise. I'd love to tell you that the peace it gave me preventing me from freaking out every time, but that's just not the truth.

I've cried myself to sleep more times than I can count. I have hurled anger and hurt at undeserving bystanders. I have freaked out more than my fair share. But each instance is a chance to learn and do things differently. And I can honestly say I've done that, too.

Bad things are going to happen. People will disappoint us. The rain will come. It's how you look at those situations that defines the outcome. As Lysa says so well, "I can face things that are out of my control, and not act out of control."

Raising my son has been challenging at times, especially since I don't know anything about being a boy. I don't really know anything about being a mom either. And because of that, I have taken a very transparent, honest approach to parenting. I do freak out from time to time. I also take responsibility for those actions and say so when I'm wrong. I've grown up along side of my son, and he knows that. That is huge part of who he is and he wouldn't be that if not for difficult, unfortunate circumstances that occurred in my life.

All things work for good....

I handle the things life tosses my way with confidence that God will work it out. There is so much release that comes when you figure out that you don't have to be in control and fix things, because He is already on it.

Even today, when I face adversity, I look at my son (now 15) and think of that scared 19 yr old I once was. I think back to the months that I cared for my dying mother, even though she abandoned me as a young child. I think back to the crumbling of my marriage and the divorce.

There isn't much life can bring my way that rattles me these days. My past reminds me that I've made it through some of the worst situations and come out better for it. And I know it's true, I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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